Fears - And How To Reduce Their Power

Photo by Simon Watkinson on Unsplash

Fear is an emotion fundamental to our human experience. It is linked to anticipation and awareness of danger.

As humans we have a very alert and active survival system.
It can see dangers lurking everywhere.
Unfortunately, it does not distinguish between the imagined dangers of the ‘what if’ variety and the actual physical ones we may be facing in real time.

Hence, we can worry, be anxious, or fearful in many different ways, and for many different reasons.

Identifying our particular type of worry or fear, and then finding the matching strategy to make it manageable, can be overwhelming — and has spawned a whole ‘helping’ industry.

But: Fundamentally we experience only FOUR fears:

• The fear of having no control

• The fear of not belonging / or being alone

• The fear of not being safe

• The fear of not having sufficient provisions / of not having enough.

Let me demonstrate that on some of my current worries:

“I wonder how the readers will respond to this. Whether it is good enough for the editor. I better read it over one more time before I send it to the publication. “ (Having no control)

“I don’t think I can make it the networking meeting tomorrow. I don’t know anyone else who plans to go, and I think the contacts there won’t be all that useful to me anyway.” (Not belonging)

“I better take both phones with me, just in case.” (Not being safe)

“The suggestion of buying only the usual amount of toilet paper is a good idea. But what if they run out just when I need more?” (Insufficient provisions)

Go ahead! Give it a go!
Pick any fear, worry or anxiety you have/hand, and with some inquiry you will find its essence derived from one or more of those four.

I think we all agree, that regardless of the number, fears can be incredibly powerful - and often not in a good way.
So let’s have a look at how we actively can reduce their hold over us.

Start with becoming curious. Become open, ever so slightly and in small steps, to the possibility that the four fears do not need to rule your life.

Notice that you have choices.
That you can influence the strength and the impact the fears have on you!

And begin with making small but active changes in your thinking and your behaviors.

Here are three stepping stones towards reducing the power of those fears:

Slow down — mentally and physically

Stop busying yourself with tasks and thoughts.

Only when you start slowing down can you listen to your inner self rather than to your fear, gaining the chance to choose different interpretations to what you perceive with your five senses.

Once you slow down, you gain the ability to see more of the choices you have. Choices you may not have been aware of or that your fear-driven mind had dismissed.

Slowing down can give yourself the chance to create space for deeper connections with others and with yourself.

Clarify, verbalize and accept your needs and values

Uncover the ‘True North’ of your values, set your compass, and follow it when you make decisions.

Your ‘True North’ will support you in drawing boundaries that serve you.

You will become aware of and meet others on similar paths.

It will then become evident who can lend you a hand, who will appreciate your support, and who will enjoy your company (and you theirs).

Discover the healing powers of nature

With our many needs, desires, beliefs, and anxieties, we have ample opportunities to feel hurt.

As you slow down, become aware that you are part of Life and that you can have access nature’s healing powers.

Shinrin Yoku (Forest bathing or Waldbaden) can open you to the incredible experience of your nervous system being soothed, and to gaining a deep sense of belonging.

If you want, let me know how you are going.